Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
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At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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