I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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