I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
