Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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