oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
