And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
