I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
