dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I can feel your judgement through the phone
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize