Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
