omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
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I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
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There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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