***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize