What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
