I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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