How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
