I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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