STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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