All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Randomize
