I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
