i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." ๐ ๐๐ท
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
People probably think Iโm a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but itโs really bc I like fucking the tour manager
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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