wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm bleeding and have questions
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
This toilet bowl is my home.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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