you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
