you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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