party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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