And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
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