Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
he just fucked me for my cheese.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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