Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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