I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Who died my cat blue again?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
