but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
