but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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