life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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