He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
