Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
