at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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