I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
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He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
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my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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