did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
my being single is dangerous.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
