I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
