Pappa wants mamma naked
dude i'm inner monologue high
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
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