it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
