Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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