Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
He has the fingertips of a God
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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