I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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