just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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