please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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