I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Randomize
