That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
We don't watch enough power rangers
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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