I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize