Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
