Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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