Texts From Last Night

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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died

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  (860): Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died http://tfl.nu/dll1
  Replies (13) Good night (595) Bad night (2698)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.

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  (434): I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents. http://tfl.nu/eibu
  Replies (18) Good night (724) Bad night (5848)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.

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  (203): i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool. http://tfl.nu/2evd
  Replies (21) Good night (987) Bad night (7303)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.

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  (757): we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink. http://tfl.nu/2r69
  Replies (21) Good night (4764) Bad night (729)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.

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  (225): If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/axif
  Replies (7) Good night (1094) Bad night (2723)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.

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  (919): If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today. http://tfl.nu/n74k
  Replies (8) Good night (661) Bad night (2341)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."

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  (804): The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be." http://tfl.nu/zz4e
  Replies (7) Good night (699) Bad night (3037)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".

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  (416): Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves". http://tfl.nu/iji3
  Replies (9) Good night (2668) Bad night (715)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.

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  (313): Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs. http://tfl.nu/t847
  Replies (8) Good night (2306) Bad night (495)
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.

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  (308): He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along. http://tfl.nu/kb7d
  Replies (13) Good night (3131) Bad night (1116)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots

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  (780): One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots http://tfl.nu/onvu
  Replies (6) Good night (493) Bad night (1326)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.

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  (802): I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place. http://tfl.nu/5u6t
  Replies (2) Good night (993) Bad night (490)
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  (408): View more from California

  I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.

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  (408): I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples. http://tfl.nu/z6gq
  Replies (2) Good night (413) Bad night (815)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details

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  (425): Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details http://tfl.nu/91yu
  Replies (1) Good night (325) Bad night (171)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.

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  (407): We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore. http://tfl.nu/jkjf
  Replies (2) Good night (366) Bad night (315)

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