Texts From Last Night

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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"

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  (414): I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics" http://tfl.nu/bnvl
  Replies (6) Good night (1194) Bad night (3968)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people

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  (+44): she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people http://tfl.nu/xprr
  Replies (8) Good night (4253) Bad night (1361)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend

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  (850): i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend http://tfl.nu/u4us
  Replies (48) Good night (4285) Bad night (3019)
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  (619): View more from California

  Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.

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  (619): Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell. http://tfl.nu/xu8z
  Replies (10) Good night (5775) Bad night (1019)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.

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  (505): new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse. http://tfl.nu/qxpq
  Replies (6) Good night (2612) Bad night (810)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized

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  (847): Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized http://tfl.nu/hh8z
  Replies (16) Good night (2746) Bad night (709)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.

  (1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

  welcome to the club.

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  (215): the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night. (1-215): welcome to the club. http://tfl.nu/wwaf
  Replies (5) Good night (995) Bad night (648)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.

  (904): View more from Florida

  And you say you're not good with numbers...

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  (704): There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night. (904): And you say you're not good with numbers... http://tfl.nu/gbor
  Replies (5) Good night (1269) Bad night (500)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?

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  (704): How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic? http://tfl.nu/83e0
  Replies (6) Good night (658) Bad night (1269)
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  (716): View more from New York

  It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week

  (210): View more from Texas

  You are the most depressed sports fan I know

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  (716): It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week (210): You are the most depressed sports fan I know http://tfl.nu/7tbn
  Replies (3) Good night (434) Bad night (874)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.

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  (425): He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night. http://tfl.nu/zs6o
  Replies (6) Good night (658) Bad night (1027)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?

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  (973): I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right? http://tfl.nu/igvn
  Replies (2) Good night (427) Bad night (284)
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  (516): View more from New York

  the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen

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  (516): the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen http://tfl.nu/qykh
  Replies (1) Good night (146) Bad night (293)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night

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  (847): I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night http://tfl.nu/c36n
  Replies (3) Good night (653) Bad night (239)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."

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  (586): Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning." http://tfl.nu/d8f9
  Replies (1) Good night (313) Bad night (109)

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