He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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