Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
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Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
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so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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