once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
