Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
