More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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