we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
