dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
